As a Mother by Mary Helen Daniels

"As A Mother"

As a mother, I know that one day I will miss the noise.

I will miss the constant job of reminding them not to run, or throw things inside.

As a mother, I know one day I may even miss the doctor’s appointments.

One day I will miss wiping snotty noses, and the kissing of bruises and bo-bos.

As a mother, I know that one day I will miss the sleepless nights, the calming of bad dreams, and oh, how I will long just to tuck them in and sing them a lullaby.

As a mother, one day I will miss the little laughters.

I know I will miss the tickled bellies and the smelly toes.

As a mother, I know I will look back on days of triumph; days of births, first steps, new words, and even when they learned how to dig in cabinets and open doors.

As a mother, I know I will miss babies and toddlers under my feet.

One day I will miss the eyes that are always curious as to what Mama is doing, and the hands that are always wanting to help.

As a mother, I will one day miss combing knots from hair and brushing tiny teeth.

I know I will miss the toys in the bathtub and the water splashed all over the floor.

As a mother, I realize the days I have not seen yet, I will miss all too soon.

I will miss the multiplication tables, the cell phone bills, and the driver’s ed classes.

As a mother, I will one day look back and remember all the wonderful times my children helped me have: The times of joy, laughter, and smiles but also the times of tears and heartache where they’ve comforted me and I comforted them.

As a mother, I will always thank God for the blessing He gave me more than once and know that no matter how many things and times I miss I will be glad to know that I had these precious ones to call my own.

Who thought of that-food memories

As I am cooking tonight I thought about how in the world do some people come up with some of these classic recipes we know and love. I mean, seriously, have you ever stopped and thought about what the person was like that said I think I will boil eggs, mix some mayo into the yolk and the stuff the egg white, let's call it deviled eggs. REALLY! Was she thinking, ok I have a family BBQ to go to, and I don't feel like going to the  store, what could I slap together? Or was it more like a bachelor looking in his nearly empty fridge and thinking, boy I want something and putting together the last of what he had. I know some recipes come from times when if you had a family of 6 you stretched the meal with whatever you could find to make it feed everyone. I'm sure in my mind that's where chicken and dumplings and meatloaf came from, some mother struggling to make sure everyone was fed and fed well.  Today I cooked chicken gumbo with sausage. It was probably one of the first things that were more complicated that I was determined to learn how to cook. It wasn't just any old way though. It had to be just like Mama made it. Some folks make gumbo that you can read a newspaper through. That was not the case of Granny's which she passed down to Mama whom I am so thankful passed to me. It's hard work standing over a hot stove stirring that parched flour. Can't tell you how many I've scorched trying to rush the process or not paying close enough attention. But all that hard work pays off with that rich brown gravy. I could eat just that in a bowl with the rice or even over potato salad and not even need the chicken and sausage. Speaking of potato salad it's one of those classics that when I'm putting it together I'm like seriously who thought of this! My Daddy I'm sure is glad someone thought of it. When you make gumbo or stew it's like Eddie Hariel law you have to make potato salad to go with it. If Mama's making it like he loves it the potatoes will just about be mashed taters, blue plate brand mayo, eggs of course and he eats a bowl right after it's mixed and still warm to "make sure she got it right." Maybe that's what makes food so comforting. Not the taste, or the smell, not how if done right some can soothe you to the soul, instead it's the memories we have all made over food. That's what makes the food so comforting. I hope that my children can one day have a bite of gumbo, and think boy that's some good memories!

Just me a page out of my prayer journal

Father,
You know me. Inside and out. There is no reason to lie to you or to pretend, because you see the truth even more clearly than I myself do. I am overwhelmed right now. Both in good ways and bad. I feel horrible that I have to admit to you that I feel like I am drowning right now in my own selfishness. I want a break. I want a clean spotless house, without having to lift a finger. I want money to buy all the things I think I want but knowingly don't need. I want Noah to be potty trained easily.I want to be a better mother. I feel like I am a scattered brained idiot most of the time. Forgetting things I shouldn't forget and not doing things that should have been important. I feel incomplete because of the projects I feel are so important are not done, like the kids scrapbooks and the jewelry making that I hope brings in extra money. I feel lazy and so unhealthy, yet I stay moving all day and look behind me and nothing seems finished. I want family nearby. I want them to be able to fall on me and me to fall on them.  I crave to be in Your Word and in prayer all day long it's on my mind but I can't get my brain (or kids) quiet enough to just enjoy being alone with you.
I need Your help Lord. You know that I know Your grace and mercy and Your blessings on me far exceed the hard things in life. I look around at so many people that have true reasons that they could complain about but yet they are facing the challenges head-on. Sometimes I wander where they find there energy. But then I know it has to be through You. Please help me to learn time management skills, organizational skills, better parenting skills. Help me to take care of myself better. To be happy to do for my family even if it's picking up one pair of shoes and the same toys four hundred times. Show me YOUR strength so that I do not dwell on my lack there of. Shine down Your presence. Make me STOP and listen to you, even if that's at 6 am in the morning. I love you. I know You deserve so much better than me but yet You chose me and are for me. Thank you for knowing me, and expecting me to be honest.
Love your daughter,
Mary Helen

"To Purge"

I am just a simple country girl. Not too much fancy about me, even though I pretend like I'm high-maintenance sometimes to annoy my husband. I soak in as much of the simple and precious things in life as I can. Saying all that many times when I am studying my Bible God uses those simple things to help me understand what I am reading. Take for example...Psalm 51, what an awesome story behind this Psalm, David had gone to Bathsheba and sinned against God by adultery and then even murder. This is his prayer of forgiveness. I read verse 7, "Purge me" David says. First thing came to my mind is the men of the house "purging" crawfish when we have family cookouts and crawfish boils. They take those nasty-been-rolling-all-in-the-mud crawfish and put them in large containers, they put the water hose to them and fill it up. Let the water out, then repeat. They add in salt to help them get even cleaner. This process breaks out all the dirt and sand from around the shell and under the tail of the crawfish. What a great way of saying "purge me God" cleanse me not just mearly brush off the outside but PURGE me. Get it all out from under the crevices and the nooks. One thing about it though. Is there is no need for repeating when God gives that forgiveness and that cleansing, that sin is gone, no stains, no residue, nothing. We are the ones that cause ourselves to get dirty again by rolling in the "mud" I pray today that God purges me from my sin. My sin of worry and sins of omission. Sins of ugly thoughts and tempers. Purge me clean Father, remove it all.