Yet another long, sappy post about time being short!

Today started out rough. We arent having the best of times in our 1st grade adventures of homeschooling right now. This morning didn't prove to be any different. So I let her (Sarah Grace) take a break while i stepped out of the room and tried to breathe through my crying. How's that song "Mama said there'd be days like this"?!?! Yeah! Exactly! I decided to read a chapter or two of the new study our ladies are starting and after two paragraphs I was crying again! Boy do I need and look forward to this study. I prayed and stepped back and reassessed the situation. I bulit a "fort" in the hallway and surprised the kids. When they said Mama come watch and did dramatic entrances out of the forts curtain, I watched. When Hannah asked to paint, I said yes! When Noah had a preplanned play date with his friend,I didn't cancel because of the bad morning. When Sarah asked me to hold Molly (her babydoll) while I was busy cooking dinner, I gladly put her on my hip. All because tomorrow they will all be another day older. There may be new firsts and new lasts. Tomorrow may hold things unimaginable. Tomorrow may be just another normal day but tomorrow I will look back on these moments and say "You did ok Mama! Let's do ok again!"

Lord Help Me!

I have been swamped underneath a pile of lesson plans, pacing guides, and curriculum budgets trying to prepare for our upcoming home school year and in the midst of all that I've been also keeping up with all of our many events with our church ministry and end of summer hoorahs! Through all of that being a wife, mother, taxi driver, chef, maid, etc. it sometimes is hard to keep the different hats straight. Today that wasn't the problem! The hat was perfectly fine. It was my feet that had issues...

Yes, you see it correctly! I wore two completely different shoes today, and not only did I walk out of the house with two totally different shoes on, I went grocery shopping with those two totally different shoes! 

I don't know which way I'm turning sometimes, well most times! But you know what I do know, God's got this. I can't depend on me, because I'm a wreck! But friends you and I can depend on the One Who holds all things in orbit. He has me. He's got you. He watches over even the most confused of us all. He gives "hope for heartache, peace for worry, calm for trouble, rest for hurry." Trust in Him. In His timing. Rest in His presence and pray for me please! Sigh!

{Fog}

When life brings on days of fog, Lord I know You are still there guiding me. You say "Come this way." And, I hesitate. "Over here, my child." But, I pause. "I can't see where to put my feet, Lord. I can't even see the ground. I don't know if I could even see my raised hand in front of my face!" I'm scared. It's uneasy when you can't see what's up ahead. "Lord, what if I trip? What if I fall? I could hurt myself!" Then Your hand touches mine. I know it's You. Oh, Only a Father has a touch that powerful, but yet that kind and gentle. "I'll lead you." "God, are You sure You can see?" "Just follow me." At that moment I take a step toward You. I follow Your voice. The fog lifts a little. Then a little more.  Then I start to understand that I only needed to trust in that first instance and You would show me my way. You would make the pathway brighter and clear the fog away. If only I take that first step. 

Getting real!

"So I have been a wreck lately. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Did I mention emotionally?"

This is how the blog post I was about to post started. It was a beautiful blog. A look into my life the last few weeks as I'm struggling to understand that I don't have to be perfect. It was a good read.

But...I connected my tablet to the wifi. Clicked on the blogger app. So excited to post this week. And under the headline of the blog post the next thing I read was "blog post empty." My hardwork, my prayed and thought over for the last week, my forty five minutes of typing and correcting, my story...GONE!

I sat and cried. I cried because I try so hard. I try so hard at mothering, at "wife-ing", at everything in general. Why can't I just have two seconds of something to be easy!?! Feeling guilty that I, of all people, should deserve life to be easy, so I prayed. "WHY? What am I supposed to learn from this God!? Was I not trying to blog and post my story so that someone else could be helped along the way?! I try so hard!"

I prayed and I cried some more.

I couldn't waste my entire day. So I gathered my feelings. Tucked them back in place. Wiped my eyes. I went to the kitchen to fix a late lunch for my kids and myself. Still all the while trying to understand. This voice kept saying tell them about me. "Just say Jesus."

Now here's what I have to say...

You, out there! Yeah! YOU! You, mom, wife, lady, even man that may be reading. You are loved. You are loved more than you can ever imagine. God looked at His creation, human. He knew we needed a Lamb. Someone perfect when we could never have the ability to reach it. A Savior. So He sent His Son. God sent His ONLY Son to this horrible, sinful Earth and gave Him as a sacrifice for our sins. Jesus suffered and died an agonizing death, rose again from the grave, and He did that all for YOU! All for ME! If it would have just been you, or just been me, He still would have come. I can find strength to face tomorrow, "Because He lives". I can find peace to face the struggles, because He lives. I can find joy in the sometimes unhappy, because He lives. Because He lives and I trust that He lives! Because He lives and I have faith He will come again! Because He lives and He loves me, oh so very much!
You can have that too! You can have that joy. Put your faith and trust in Jesus. Let Him become Lord and Savior of your life!
Then...live life. Live life emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Live life a wreck, sometimes! God didn't put you here to be perfect. He already took care of that. He didn't put you here to count down the years, months, even hours that you've wasted. But He put you here to soak in the years, months, even SECONDS you still have. However many that may be.

So Live...Because He lives! 

Empty to Full

Here's a simple thought for us to ponder this Saturday. If your cup is full, nothing more can be added to it. If it is empty, it can then be filled. I pray that we will empty ourselves this weekend of all the mess, the old nasty stuff, the stuff that doesn't belong there, even down to the grinds in the bottom. Then and only then can we be filled with the glory of God's goodness. Have a blessed Saturday!

Generation to Generation

As I sit and look at my kitchen counters on this beautiful Thanksgiving morning i'm reminded of my mother's kitchen this time of the year. There was always such a sense of comfort in the times where I would wake up sleepyhead out of my childhood or teenage bed room. The comfort came from knowing that my mom was there, knowing that she was taking care of us by cooking, knowing that she loved us enough to show us. Several years ago my mom gathered up all of her now grown daughters and even a few family members that she thought of as daughters and she gave us all something that she had worked months on. She gave us a cookbook which she had sewn the cover for out of old quilt tops. Inside the cookbook were many recipes some handwritten, some passed down for many generations, and some that were just our favorites as kids. So as I am in my kitchen today with my cookbook open preparing the same meal that she has for many years I think about the fact that she passed down so many more things than just that cookbook. The things that my mom passed down are not just the material things but the things that I can cherish and I can pass down to my kids that are so much more important than just paper. Things like loving the Lord, like loving your family, like loving the word of God. So as I wish you a very wonderful Thanksgiving day I also pray that in your family you will pass down the things that are so important. Sure it is nice to have an awesome meal and especially dressing cooked like granny's or banana pudding cooked like mawmaw's but the word of God and loving the Lord will bless for generations upon generations. 

Spiritual before the physical

Have you ever had a “grab-the-bull-by-the-horns” opportunity only to not realize it until it was too late? I’ve had several of these recently. Lately it seems that every time that I could have said the right thing or should have offered my help or needed to step up to the plate, the thought did not cross my mind until the moment was already gone. And it bothers me. For example, why didn’t I think to double check on the friend who recently had surgery and maybe fix a meal once they were home until it had been a month past? Why didn’t I take the time to truly speak to the person from our church that I passed with a simple hello, how are you, at the grocery store until once I was unloading my groceries? Why didn’t I see the opportunity to use vacation time as a way to kick my personal Bible study into gear? These are my “DUH!” moments!! They get to me!

So I began to think on and question myself on what was causing this slow response time. I heard a song on the radio that’s new to me that has these lyrics…
“Before I bring my need, I will bring my heart. Before I lift my cares, I will lift my arms…First I wanna seek You…More than anything I want, I want You first."

 My heart instantly began to pray out the words of this song. Then in my praying God spoke. I have been so focused on our needs and wants physically that I haven’t had much time to focus on my needs and wants spiritually. Everyday life tends to take over my thoughts and actions at times. We are close to moving into the newly renovated church parsonage. That brings bigger spaces for our cramped family, new décor, new surroundings, paint swatches, cabinet choices, and ALL things that I absolutely adore! I have spent countless hours excitedly planning and pinning décor ideas and color schemes and DIY projects for our new home. I’m afraid it’s consumed me. Keeping my home in neat and tidy and well organized, I’m afraid has consumed me. Homeschooling, church, feeding and clothing my family all distract me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing that I’m excited about this new phase in our life with the new home. It’s definitely ok that I see the need to plan out menus and make grocery trips. Yet, I can’t let it all steal my focus off the most important thing… feeding myself and my family spiritually.

So here are three things that I’m going to pray over my home (the old and the new)

#1. Spiritually kept before physically swept

I like clean floors. Sand is just cruel. But let’s be honest, it’s ok if there are things that don’t get done in order for us to have time to spiritually clean our own hearts and minds to prepare them for what God has for us to hear from Him.

 #2. Spiritually sweet before physically neat

In the smaller home that we are in now, tidiness is a constant battle. Our home is often times “clean” but don’t look at all neat because of the lack of storage or the otherwise excess of junk! So clutter is inevitable. Taking time to pray to start my day is a spiritual “hug” from my Heavenly Father. And we all know there is something especially sweet about those hugs.

 #3. Spiritual connection before decorative perfection

I’m a creative soul. I grew to love all things interior design years ago and it instantly became a passion of mine. The creative spirit of matching and mixing pieces and colors and textures, oh the thrill makes my heart pitter patter like a love struck teen! sigh! The time that I take to make sure the pillows are just so, the curtains are pressed, and the paint is the perfect hue of grey can much better be used growing my spiritual connection with my Savior.
 

I pray that each of you reading this today will gain an insight into what’s distracting you. Give your focus back to spiritual things. Grow closer with God daily. Put the spiritual before the physical.