Yet another long, sappy post about time being short!

Today started out rough. We arent having the best of times in our 1st grade adventures of homeschooling right now. This morning didn't prove to be any different. So I let her (Sarah Grace) take a break while i stepped out of the room and tried to breathe through my crying. How's that song "Mama said there'd be days like this"?!?! Yeah! Exactly! I decided to read a chapter or two of the new study our ladies are starting and after two paragraphs I was crying again! Boy do I need and look forward to this study. I prayed and stepped back and reassessed the situation. I bulit a "fort" in the hallway and surprised the kids. When they said Mama come watch and did dramatic entrances out of the forts curtain, I watched. When Hannah asked to paint, I said yes! When Noah had a preplanned play date with his friend,I didn't cancel because of the bad morning. When Sarah asked me to hold Molly (her babydoll) while I was busy cooking dinner, I gladly put her on my hip. All because tomorrow they will all be another day older. There may be new firsts and new lasts. Tomorrow may hold things unimaginable. Tomorrow may be just another normal day but tomorrow I will look back on these moments and say "You did ok Mama! Let's do ok again!"

Lord Help Me!

I have been swamped underneath a pile of lesson plans, pacing guides, and curriculum budgets trying to prepare for our upcoming home school year and in the midst of all that I've been also keeping up with all of our many events with our church ministry and end of summer hoorahs! Through all of that being a wife, mother, taxi driver, chef, maid, etc. it sometimes is hard to keep the different hats straight. Today that wasn't the problem! The hat was perfectly fine. It was my feet that had issues...

Yes, you see it correctly! I wore two completely different shoes today, and not only did I walk out of the house with two totally different shoes on, I went grocery shopping with those two totally different shoes! 

I don't know which way I'm turning sometimes, well most times! But you know what I do know, God's got this. I can't depend on me, because I'm a wreck! But friends you and I can depend on the One Who holds all things in orbit. He has me. He's got you. He watches over even the most confused of us all. He gives "hope for heartache, peace for worry, calm for trouble, rest for hurry." Trust in Him. In His timing. Rest in His presence and pray for me please! Sigh!

{Fog}

When life brings on days of fog, Lord I know You are still there guiding me. You say "Come this way." And, I hesitate. "Over here, my child." But, I pause. "I can't see where to put my feet, Lord. I can't even see the ground. I don't know if I could even see my raised hand in front of my face!" I'm scared. It's uneasy when you can't see what's up ahead. "Lord, what if I trip? What if I fall? I could hurt myself!" Then Your hand touches mine. I know it's You. Oh, Only a Father has a touch that powerful, but yet that kind and gentle. "I'll lead you." "God, are You sure You can see?" "Just follow me." At that moment I take a step toward You. I follow Your voice. The fog lifts a little. Then a little more.  Then I start to understand that I only needed to trust in that first instance and You would show me my way. You would make the pathway brighter and clear the fog away. If only I take that first step. 

Getting real!

"So I have been a wreck lately. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Did I mention emotionally?"

This is how the blog post I was about to post started. It was a beautiful blog. A look into my life the last few weeks as I'm struggling to understand that I don't have to be perfect. It was a good read.

But...I connected my tablet to the wifi. Clicked on the blogger app. So excited to post this week. And under the headline of the blog post the next thing I read was "blog post empty." My hardwork, my prayed and thought over for the last week, my forty five minutes of typing and correcting, my story...GONE!

I sat and cried. I cried because I try so hard. I try so hard at mothering, at "wife-ing", at everything in general. Why can't I just have two seconds of something to be easy!?! Feeling guilty that I, of all people, should deserve life to be easy, so I prayed. "WHY? What am I supposed to learn from this God!? Was I not trying to blog and post my story so that someone else could be helped along the way?! I try so hard!"

I prayed and I cried some more.

I couldn't waste my entire day. So I gathered my feelings. Tucked them back in place. Wiped my eyes. I went to the kitchen to fix a late lunch for my kids and myself. Still all the while trying to understand. This voice kept saying tell them about me. "Just say Jesus."

Now here's what I have to say...

You, out there! Yeah! YOU! You, mom, wife, lady, even man that may be reading. You are loved. You are loved more than you can ever imagine. God looked at His creation, human. He knew we needed a Lamb. Someone perfect when we could never have the ability to reach it. A Savior. So He sent His Son. God sent His ONLY Son to this horrible, sinful Earth and gave Him as a sacrifice for our sins. Jesus suffered and died an agonizing death, rose again from the grave, and He did that all for YOU! All for ME! If it would have just been you, or just been me, He still would have come. I can find strength to face tomorrow, "Because He lives". I can find peace to face the struggles, because He lives. I can find joy in the sometimes unhappy, because He lives. Because He lives and I trust that He lives! Because He lives and I have faith He will come again! Because He lives and He loves me, oh so very much!
You can have that too! You can have that joy. Put your faith and trust in Jesus. Let Him become Lord and Savior of your life!
Then...live life. Live life emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Live life a wreck, sometimes! God didn't put you here to be perfect. He already took care of that. He didn't put you here to count down the years, months, even hours that you've wasted. But He put you here to soak in the years, months, even SECONDS you still have. However many that may be.

So Live...Because He lives! 

Empty to Full

Here's a simple thought for us to ponder this Saturday. If your cup is full, nothing more can be added to it. If it is empty, it can then be filled. I pray that we will empty ourselves this weekend of all the mess, the old nasty stuff, the stuff that doesn't belong there, even down to the grinds in the bottom. Then and only then can we be filled with the glory of God's goodness. Have a blessed Saturday!