He does NOT need another mother!

This is to all women out there; single, engaged, even married. Your man (whether present or future) does not need another mother! There I've said it. Don't act like you don't know what I mean either. You know very well what I'm talking about. As women we have a tendency that is just natural instinct to want to mother everything and everyone we are around and that includes our men, but that's the last thing he needs. Now let me just go ahead and say sometimes men can be big babies, some bigger than others, but still babies! During times when my husband is sick or not feeling good I will still cook him some soup and bring him medicine and check his temperature. That's where I need to draw the line though. My husband is a few years younger than me and we started dating at a very young age (for him, at least). When we were engaged only a year later, he was still in high school. Then we married 2 weeks after he graduated. It was just easy for me to mother him. I joked and would say that I snatched me up a young 'en so that I could raise him to be who I wanted to be. Funny then, but looking back it's a horrible thing to say. Here's the point I'm getting at....It's not who I want him to be, it should be who God wants him to be. And, to put it a little differently, it is the person who God makes my husband out to be not anything I've had to do with.

Sometimes as women we think that we are helping by giving "suggestions" of how our man should act, dress, talk, walk, and even smell like, and they may very well be good advice, but the thing is that we are suppose to be his help mate. We were never created to be his god or his mom or his commanding officer. We should not want our husband to bow to our every command. This only shows weakness and it's definitely not how the Bible describes our role as wives. Our men want to feel...well, manly. They want to grunt and roar at power tools, smell like gas and oil if they so choose to, and have us still swoon over their muscles as they lift our children to the air! Keeping a constant nagging watch over every little thing they say or do only belittles their manliness, but even more damaging it kills their spirit. Men are naturally born with a spirit of power, of authority. Too many times that authority and will to conquer life can be drenched and drowned out by an overpowering woman. It is too sad when a man has lost all will to fight and all will to be who GOD called him to be because he's worried what his wife will say or he's been told he's wrong one too many times.

Instead of telling him what he's doing wrong, encourage him by praising what he's doing right! Instead of belittling his every action, give him the power to lead. I constantly hear women say "I wish my husband were more of a leader." GIVE HIM THE REINS!!!!! LET HIM LEAD and he might just surprise you! I've heard a story before about the greatest thing a marriage councelor ever said was telling a wife "YOU CAN'T FIX HIM!" Boy, is that so true. If you have a husband that's in dire need of spiritual guidance, maybe he does not even know God, all the nagging, commanding, and mothering in the world CANNOT fix him. But...there is still hope! If you'll only step aside and let God have your husband, you'll see that God can fix him like you never could. You'll see God's Holy Spirit can convict, like you never could. You'll see God can change, like you never could.

Our men do not need another mother. Give him over to God. Let Him do the rest!

Where is my treasure?

I was recently talking to a dear friend who is in the process of a big change. They are moving from their home to a whole new area. It's a whole new start for them really. She made the comment that her house was nearly empty but since we weren't really in the middle of that kind of conversation I did not press her for any other details. I'm often the pyschologist type that would ask "and how does that make you feel?"!! But later as I laid down for the night I had lots of thoughts running through my mind.

There are times as a pastor's wife that I bricked up my heart to not hope for a "life-long" dwelling. We moved 8 times in 10 years of marriage following God's direction for our family and the whole time I would wonder "why in the world would anyone move just because they wanted to?" A higher calling from the One in Supreme Authority over my life was the ONLY way I was moving especially after a few times. I think as mothers most of us have an inner yearning to want to settle. We like to "nest." I found myself liking the change that a new house and enviroment would bring by consuming myself in home decor. As long as I got to buy a few new things, change a rug, or map the furniture layout I was ok that we were having to start over once again. I guess in that way God helped me to cope with the calling He had given my husband and our family.

The holidays bring on an enhanced pride in material things. We like to decorate our homes, show off our best clothes, and put our credit cards to good use at discount sales. I go a little over the top with fall leaves and swags and pretty plates with Thanksgiving verses. I have a somewhat eclectic taste in home decor but find great joy in a beautiful well put together Christmas tree. My current housing is not by any means a mansion but my decor is top-of-the-line-Better-Homes-and-Gardens-taking-pictures kind of stuff. I said all that to say this...It is ALL just stuff! Just man-made pretties. At the end of the day, I can live in a multi-floor, 10 bedroom, 5 bath mansion with a grand security system and guarded gate, but the building will not mean a thing to me without the ones I love in it!

My husband's grandmother past away this past year. Her house will no longer be the meeting place for family times of holidays and happenings. Due to hurricanes and other uncontrollable circumstances precious times in my own grandparents' home is but just a memory now also. I can still picture my Pawpaw and Mawmaw's old front porch where we gathered so many times. I can even hear the sound of an old bug zapper. I can close my eyes and smell the stew at my Granny's apartment. All those things make me so long to step back into their old home places just one more time. Then the thought occurs to me even if I could go today, even if I could stand right where they stood and be in the middle of where memories were made, would it be the same? Days have gone by and buildings decay, hurricanes destroy, time wears materials to rust, but even if it didn't, NOTHING would be the same. Without the love that open arms and big smiles of precious family bring a house is just a building, four walls, material.

The Bible tells us in Matthew 6 (verses 19-21) "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where theives do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

We cannot take my beautifully decorated Christmas tree to heaven with us so I should not make it my greatest treasure. Although it's sweet to think of my grandparents' little yellow house destroyed by many storms, rust, and moths sitting next to the streets of gold right inside the gates of pearl, I highly doubt that God would be "preparing" that kind of place for us. He has much greater in store. The greatest thing we can possibly put our time and effort, our hopes and dreams, and our love and passion into is other human beings. We can't take our houses with us but when we take our loved ones to heaven with us, we take our homes! Lay up treasure where it matters in family, loved ones, and friends. A material possession could never add up to where my treasure is. My treasure is in my memories of days gone by, the relaxation of a girls' day with my Mama, the smile my Daddy's laugh puts on my face, the warmth of a house (no matter where) full of family, the twinkle of my kids' eyes, and the serenity of my loving husband's embrace. For there my heart will always be.

In my weakness

Today I had an awakening. I have been praying for several months now about my family's finances. My husband is very blessed with the full-time salary he makes as pastor of our church. But, you all know as well as I do, feeding 5 people is NOT cheap; neither is anything else, for that matter! So we've been praying and seeking different ways to help supplement some much needed grocery money. Let me just stop and say this right now;  God has ALWAYS provided, A.L.W.A....well you get the point! ALWAYS! So myself being human is the only reason why I would ever question anything different. This time He proved again how He can work wonders, even when we least expect.
In praying for our finances I have sought out a couple different ways to make some extra money myself. As you know it is most important to my family that I'm at home to care for and school my children, so a job has to be VERY specific to our families needs. Well through all this prayer, I've felt as though God was telling me to teach piano lessons. I play. I took piano for 9 years as a child/teen. I was the accompanist for our Jr High and High School choirs (and really strengthened my knowledge and skill through that.) Still, I would stop and think, I am NO Beethoven, and then politely shove that thought to the side.
Once again we've come to the end of the month and funds are lower than normal and I decided to pray a little harder. A message came through from a facebook friend. It said this "I know I've asked you before but things and seasons change. Are you teaching piano lessons?" Hmmmmmm.....OK, God. I hear you. Now what? So I replied. I explained that as a matter of fact, I have been praying through starting to teach and would love to have her as a student. She replied "my daughter wants to take too." Hmmmmm.....Are you seeing a pattern here? God's still shouting from that corner I pushed Him in, "HELLO!!!!! I GOT THIS!!!!!" So, I giggle to myself and realize that I better listen while He's offering. Noone likes to miss out on a blessing because of self ignorance!
I posted an "ad," so to speak, about lessons. I got a GREAT response, and not even 24 hours later I have around 10 students signed up!!! I'm so very humbled for God's provision. At the same time I'm very nervous. I'm not very good at having full confidence in myself. But, today I have found much comfort in His Word and promises. "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever." Philippians 4:19-20
Moral of this story...Never doubt what God can do. Always use your abilities, talents, and gifts to glorify Him. "Wait upon the Lord" as in Isaiah 40. And ALWAYS remember..."not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13
In my weakness, He's made stronger. You can say the same!
AMEN!

A little effort

So i have to share a thought that passed my mind today. I feel like it's a good one to consider this weekend. First let me just introduce you to my newest passion, clothing upcycle! I can't just leave my closet alone. I'm always thinking of how I can make a shirt fit better or pants be more in fashion or a dress be something I will actually wear! So I upcycle things. This was my latest project...

I love this shirt, but it was just a little too snug for comfort and I may would've popped a button off if I sat down in it! (Hate I didn't get a before pic!) I sewed leopard print fabric down the back to add width in the dreaded hip area! HA! Then just for fun and because my sister, mom, and I can't handle ourselves when things aren't monogrammed I added a precious applique 'M' to the front pocket! How adorable, right?! Well it didn't stay this perfect for long.

We were heading out today and, of course, I just HAD to wear my new shirt. I ironed it all pretty and my iron spewed nasty rusty steam on the sleeve. Aggrevation, but no biggie. Wiped it clean the best I could and hoped noone would notice. We ran errands in town and had a meeting with a group of homeschoolers. Being that we live a good bit from "town" we seem to always be in need of at least one meal when we're out and about. (I promise, I'm going to start packing a pb sandwich picnic to save money. Sorry, I regress. Different blog Different day!) Anywhooooo... A trip to a local fried chicken joint and my little Sarah says "oh no! Mama, look at your shirt!" YEP!! You guessed it a trickle of grease ever so politely landed in a stream of tiny dots all down the front of my precious new creation! AHHHHHH!!!!! I dabbed it off in the restaraunt bathroom and even dotted it with a stain pen a hs mom let me borrow. Fast forwards several hours later. I took my shirt straight to the washing machine and put it in a cycle all by itself just to try and hurry to get out the stains. After the wash ran, I pulled the shirt from the dryer and low and behold, the leopard print fabric had raveled and the seams had pretty much fallen apart making several big holes! WAHHHHH!!! I was determined to make this shirt work! I had to get at LEAST more than 1 hour of good wear out of it! I mean, come on!!! So to the sewing machine I go. I didn't even wait for it to dry. (Which I may regret later??) Two straight stitch rows and one zigzag and a careful hanging to AIR dry and HOPEFULLY I will have a new shirt, even better than before!

During all of this a thought crossed my mind. What is there in my life that needs this much effort? What am I doing with little to no "umption" that deserves for me to give it my all? When have I helped a friend, carelessly played with a kid, or even studied God's Word with as much effort as I put into my shirt project? God pressed upon my heart to make a better effort in some areas and I intend to follow through with this conviction. I dropped everything after finishing my sewing and sat on my porch swing to watch my children play and ride their bikes. It was my first attempt at a well-known truth. "Nothing worth having comes easy!" Now a leisurely swing on the porch is definitely what I consider easy, but it still took effort for me to set aside that time. I pray I continue to do so!

  Colossians 3:23-25says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Let's pray.

God, you know that we love You, our husbands, our children, and our family and friends beyond any shirt or perfected hair style or clean house. We seem to put so much effort on sometimes trivial things. Help us Lord to focus on the important and put the work even more so into the things that "lay up treasures for us in Heaven." Reward our work by warming our hearts and our lives with blessed times of blissful rest in you. 

Amen. 

Am I suited up for marriage?

Yesterday in Sunday School I taught my young class of students all about the "armor" that God gives. We started out by talking about sin and what God says sin is. I asked if anyone knew what armor was used for and when we wear armor. It was so sweet when one little boy chimed in "When we fight ZOMBIES!!!" Even though there may not be zombies for us to fight there is a battle; a battle forging around us that we can't necessarily see with our physical eyes but a lot of time we can see the results once the smoke clears. It's called a spiritual battle. The Bible tells us a lot about this battle and what we can do to prepare ourselves for it.

I can still remember one of the first "real" fights that my husband Josh and I had. We were really young. I don't remember for sure but I would say it was probably within the first year of marriage. I know it was just us two; no kids yet. It's one of those things where I just can't for the life of me remember why we were even fighting, but I remember what happened next. He slammed a door and unintentionally made a decor (one of the first of my handmade creations) fall off the wall and shatter into pieces. Oh boy, that made me jump into serious WAR mode. All good behavior and intentions went out the window as I so nonchalantly proceeded to throw one of his most favorite VCR hunting tapes at the wall and it shattered as well. I think about it now and wonder how in the world I ever acted out so violently. I was so very mad at him and he was furious with me. Of course, we worked everything out and apologized as was necessary and have lived through many happy years along with more civilized "battles" since then! But here's the kicker...we read our Bible more and what we've discovered is what we've stuck to. Many battles come our way; whether with each other or with so many around us. The Bible tells us though that it's not really flesh and blood that we fight. It's not my husband (or my friend or the "friendly" cashier.) Our battle is really with the devil; the one who controls all the darkness and forces of evil in this wicked world. (Eph.6:12)

We don't know when battles will come our way so we have to be prepared daily for a potential threat. Read Ephesians 6:10-18

#1. The belt of truth: TRUTH.

Truth for my marriage: Make sure you know what's truth and what is not. The number one thing that has gotten myself and my husband in trouble in the past is assuming! I won't repeat what we in the south say assume stands for, but I'll give you a hint. It makes a "donkey" out of u and me! Communication is the key to not assuming. Ask before you assume that you know what your husband meant by his words or actions. Let him know that a specific tone spells trouble to you. But don't be upset when he in turn shares how he feels about your habits of body language.

Truth from God: When the Bible speaks of truth, gospel, the way, or the good news, it is mostly speaking of Jesus Christ. The truth is if you have a relationship with Jesus as your Savior and Lord, then you have the power to stand firm against Satan and his army.

#2. The breastplate of righteousness: BEING RIGHT WITH GOD!

Right for my marriage: The most important person in any relationship especially marriage is God. When we truly live our lives to please God then we will in return please our husbands. Right with HIM, means right with him!

Right from God: God only wants what is best for His children. When we live a life according to His Word, His Will is played out for us. The most important part of His Will is His protection of His family. The breastplate of "being right with Him" will protect our most vital part; our heart!

#3. The shoes of peace: CALM

Calm for my marriage: I tell my kids this often and even shared this with my Sunday School class and in other blog posts...the best thing we can do for ourselves is to stop and breathe and THINK about our next step; our next word; our next action. When we calm ourselves to a state of focus in the midst of battle we can feel a better sense of preparedness. We are ready, with the right reaction and response, for whatever comes our way.

Calm from God: The gospel of peace that God can give is called "the peace that passes all understanding." I've often times wondered how that peace is so amazing, because I've experience it first hand. It truly is unexplainable. This verse helps me understand by using the simple word "gospel." We can have that kind of peace only because God made a way; THE way. He sent His only Son to die for our sins so that even in the middle of the chaos we can truly know peace!

#4. The shield of faith: FAITH.

Faith for my marriage: God gives us the ability to love others because He loves us, to forgive others because He forgives us, and to have faith in others because He has faith in us. He knows that the commandments He gives for us to abide by IS possible and He expects GREAT things from us. We can foresee those same great things in our spouse! How great would it be for our husband to hear from us the faith that we have in him! All he wants is to know we trust that he will take care of his family, make wise choices, and love us unconditionally.

Faith from God: I'm so grateful that God gave us, as humans, a shield to protect ourselves. As if the breastplate of righteousness isn't enough, God gives us a shield to protect us from whatever Satan throws at us. This spiritual shield wards off unseen and often sneaky weapons from the devil like resentment, hate, guilt, and anger.  These weapons are potentially fatal to our marriages. Thankfully God's prepared us for them!

#5. The helmet of salvation: SAVED to the UTTERMOST!

Salvation for my marriage: There is no; and I mean NO marriage that God cannot save. If we were to say that one was too far gone we would be limiting God's abilities! I may not help, your pastor may not can help, your parents, friends, and even spouse may not can fix it; but GOD CAN!

Salvation from God: My personal salvation came when Josh and I had been married 8 years. Let me just tell you 8 years was a long time to depend on ourselves and my husband's faith alone. The best thing I ever did for my marriage was putting my faith and trust in an all-knowing, all-time loving God. I pray that you have salvation from God and that if so you have all the hope you need just from knowing nothing could ever harm you or your marriage when you have God on your side!

#6. The sword of the Spirit: God's Word

Word for my marriage: The best thing we can do in a marriage battle, whether small, big, serious, or not-so, is allow God's Word to do the fighting. God's Word can change a situation, a heart, or an outcome better than we could ever think possible. Study, know, and embrace what God says our marriage relationship should be or look like. Encourage your spouse to do the same. Let God do the talking for you!

Word from God: Any battle or war we ever face is no match for the Sword of the Lord, the Bible. Out of all the armor God gives to protect us, He only gives one to fight back.  Don't be afraid to use it; for harm against the devil and for good with your spouse!


Remember who the battle is truly against. It's not your husband or zombies"Put on the whole armor of God!" and watch as God protects your marriage better than you ever could alone!


This blog post has been a tough one. Not only was it a lot longer than most I write, it has been very much so battled against! Kids have not been cooperative. Phone keeps ringing. My head is throbbing. And in this last mad dash for the goal line we had our incredibly small chiweenie get lost in the couch lining, yes, i said lining! Now I can't even post this because my wifi box is dead! Not even half way through and about an hour into writing I finally had enough and said to myself "Why is this so hard!?!" Immediately I got the answer I felt God sent "Mary Helen, you're writing on spiritual battles; fighting against the devil. Do you seriously think it's suppose to be easy!" I knew right then no matter how long it took or what else happened I was going to write this, finish it, and post it for the world to see. Two hours later it's finished, saved, and waiting to be published! Praise GOD, that's my battle won today!!! Have you seen yours??

Bring on Fall! Changing of the Seasons!!!

I absolutely love times when here in South MIssissippi we can actually feel and see the changing of the seasons and my all time favorite is FALL!!! This morning there's a coolness in the air and a breeze blowing and for this ole girl it puts a pep in my step! I have 5,000 things I need to do inside my home today but I do believe those will all find the back burner since I know we will all want to be outside in this beautiful weather. It's a picnic-table-under-the-shade tree kind of school day! One reason I so love the changing of seasons is the great representation that it gives us of God's Word. In the Bible God tells us many different times about a newness He can give. Here are a few of my favorite verses:
#1. Lamentations 3:22-24 ESV
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
**How great to think that no matter what's happened yesterday God's mercy is new again every morning and they're never-ending! We can have that blessed hope in Him because of knowing this one truth!
#2. Revelation 21:4-5 (ESV)
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
**As children of God we can trust in the hope of our future and eternity! He makes all things new for then and for now.
#3.II Corinthians 5:17 ESV
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
**Oh the new creation I became once I gave my life over to God. I never knew how dead I had become inside. The feeling of a new fresh start and a Savior that took the broken clay I was and started molding me over and over was one I'll always remember and I return to that time of the start of my relationship with my Christ again and again.
And here's my newest favorite....
#4. Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV
"To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
**It makes me proud to know that time after time when I feel like the old person I was is creeping back in I can shake off the dust and my newness shines through again. That's what being a new creature in Christ does for us. If we set our minds to being renewed over and over, again and again, He will help us to cast aside the old and let the new shine on!

Here's to a new season. A newness of life. Cool air, crispy brown leaves, and the hum of locust so loud all you can do is praise God with them!!!

Human Habits

Why is it that old habits are so hard to break? What about our genetics makes us so prone to want to stay set in our ways? These are the things that have been so heavy on my mind lately. My husband and I have set in our hearts to try our best to only be our best for years now. It started at an early time in our marriage. I often laugh and tell newlyweds that my first year of marriage was nothing but fighting and "the best kind of making up." HA! It's still funny to me. The serious set of real deal burdens to change our character came when our first baby started to grow into a bouncing toddler. It was a true wake up call when our sweet darlin' looked up at us and threw her first tantrum. I do believe any mama's first reaction to bad behavior is, "now where did she learn that from?" Then a gut-wrenching feeling comes across most times because the answer too often becomes, OH! NO! I do that. or I say that, or I react that way. So as fairly new parents we set out to change the way we talked, walked, and acted, but unfortunately old habits are hard to break. What is the statistic 31 times doing one thing and it forms a habit? I'm not sure how much I agree with that, but I do know that I have often looked back after trying so hard to set good habits and  thought wow! when did that become second nature? For an example my sweet Mama tried for my entire teenage life to get me to make my bed every morning. Yeah, not happening! Once I was married I had the sense of pride in my own home enough to realize how much neater it made our room look and one day when I was making my bed VOILA! habit was formed! So now we're back to this point in our life where we feel the slump that has happened over the last few months that has drawn us back to some old habits. Now please know that I'm not talking serious addictions or anything like beating our children or illegal actions. I'm talking raising our voice, letting out loud sighs of dissapointment at another family member, an occassional slamming door, and body language that all too well speaks for itself of our attitude. To some of you this all seems petty, right? But you see, we at the Daniels' residence really do want to do as God's word tells us. We truly want to, as a husband, love my wife as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25), as a wife, submit myself to my husband as head of the house (Eph 5:22), as parents, train our children to love God (Prov.22:6), and as a family, edify with our mouths and actions (Eph 5:29). It's not as simple as, well that's just life our husbands and kids will have to hear and see other people act that way. It's also not as simple as, well I can change but why should I if noone else in my house is. It is all about changing our actions and reactions because God loves us and wants us to. Think on this W.W.J.D? Remember how popular this was? It needs to come back in style in our lives not just on our tshirts. What would Jesus do? My husband recently preached a sermon on our ministry as Christians to children or youth. In Matthew 19 Jesus calls the children to Him even when all the disciples were turning them away. Jesus took the time to care for people, love others, talk kindly, teach, minister. I could go on and on about His example, but the thing is that when I think of some of the words I say, the attitude I have, the aggrevation I have when my kids just want a minute, or the attitude I have when my husband asks me a question, I can only hear in myself what Jesus would not do. It's time for change. Serious-real-made-into-a-lifestyle change. So here's what we have to do to change. 

#1. First and foremost PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! He already knows our heart's desires but it sure means alot for Him to hear it from us.

#2. Study what God word says we should be doing. Start in Ephesians 5 with some of the verses I gave before. 

#3. Think W.W.J.D. Nowadays it does seem so cliche' to say that but it's so very obvious that it's what we should've done in the first place. If Jesus would say it, if he would huff and puff over cleaning up a room, or raise His voice to a toddler who spills milk, go right ahead, but you and I both know that would never happen!

#4. If at first you don't succeed try and try again! Don't think that there weren't days of a messed up bed in my times of striving for a neat resting place, but that did not stop me from trying again the next day. How silly would it have been to say well, I did not make my bed today so why ever bother doing it again!?!

#5. Don't give up on yourself. Don't think that just because old habits are hard to break that it's not possible! Phillippians 4:13 says we can do ALL things through Christ. 

Let's pray. Father, help us to be women that set our hearts on being more like You. Help us to have a desire to serve our family, to only show them love and kindness, to edify and build up one another. May we one day be able to say that Your name was glorified because of the way we reacted to daily life was such an example to others. We love You and praise Your name and we know that "ALL things work together for good to those who love You" (Rom 8:28) Amen